From October 2002

The Night Companion

by Tom Spencer

Tending the flowers

at my brother’s grave:

the wiry strands of grass

snap

as I rip them from the soil.

Scraping against the earth

dulled fingers scavenge for roots

like blind snakes

anxious to slip their skins.

With the last blade dispatched

I stand, panting, ready to go,

but it is too late.

My hands were my heart’s distraction-

released from their task,

they return to his shoulder,

his brow,

brushing past the tangle of tubes

and wires that hang beside the bed.

Would you like some water?

Should I get the nurse?

A crow caws- its throat a vortex

that drains the color from the sky.

I freeze,

a trembling memorial

between the stones.

It’s me; I’m right here beside you.

Humming with hair-trigger machines,

that last sleepless night

reappears-

a glaring apparition

projected through time.

I’m right here…

An avalanche of images

crackles down my spine.

In a panic,

the rhythm of my retreat

pounds against the cemetery drive.

But then,

from the tall grass beside the road,

an explosion-

as a deer rises up and leaps into the woods.

When my breath returns,

new images gently eclipse the old:

the deer’s silhouette on a cloudless night-

a solitary trail through the dew,

watchful eyes, fine-tuned ears,

and delicate legs

tucked

beneath velvet flanks

nestled by my brother’s grave.

“It’s me; I’m right here beside you.

I'm right here."

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